Stepping out of the “Gray Area” and Seeking Help!
When I reflect back on the process and the journey………it brings up very overwhelming emotions in my mind and in my heart. The reason it feels so overwhelming is because there were SO MANY years we lived in this “gray area”.
My definition of the gray is……….
The head space as a parent that you can not decipher…..what is TYPICAL adolescent behavior and what is a TRUE RED FLAG.
In the most common situations in parenting (when in the gray )…..you find yourself scratching your head and thinking…….
”This should not be this hard”
“Things should not get this out of hand”
It is this place where you watch your peers around you tackling the same parenting issues or the same milestones…….. but your child’s experience is unfolding very differently.
Living in the gray brings about confusion……second guessing……conflict and anger.
Living in the gray is exhausting and excruciating.
Living in the gray is LONELY
It is this feeling of …………“Is this behavior something more?…….AND…. the bigger question is….. How will I know if I need to seek professional help?”
My hopes for this week’s blog is to create awareness of what this limbo space feels like and to highlight the concrete signs to look for so you can step out of this space and seek outside help.
As parents, we often beat ourselves up for not being able to parent through our child’s rough times. Our ego and fear take over and we feel weak or judged if our child is not following in suit with all the rest..
I lived with a lot of guilt for many years that I didn’t take action sooner. The guilt was because at times I parented with a lot of anger and resentment towards my own child. The guilt was because I made many choices during that time that I wish I could take back. The guilt was because I said hurtful things in fits of sadness and frustration.
I punished when I should have shown compassion and love…….
I pushed when I should have let it be……
I criticized when I should have understood…..
What I learned is………I was the best mom I could be in that moment because I didn’t understand the scope of depression and anxiety.
I know now that all of my actions and decisions came from love and trying to navigate the best I could.
I truly understand that detecting the signs early and consulting with a doctor is the best way to ensure your child’s safety and preserve their mental health.
When we know better………We do better!❤️
Here are the signs to look for when you may be stuck in the gray…….
Insomnia
Changes in eating habits
Irritability
Headaches
Fatigue
Avoiding friends/family/social activities
Crying for no reason
Hopelessness
Frustration and anger
Self esteem issues
Feelings of worthlessness
Isolation
Not taking care of hygiene
School refusal
If your child is experiencing a number of these signs, contact your pediatrician for a discussion and possible next steps.
While the symptoms listed above can be alarming for anyone, there are other symptoms that need immediate action. If your child has exhibited signs of self harm or has thoughts of suicide, please find immediate support at The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. 1-800-273-TALK.
XOXO🦋
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