What I Wish I Knew While Navigating My Teen’s Depression…. All You Need To Do Is LOVE’M

( I am currently taking a deep breath……..and blowing out the anxiety as I sit down to write this….)

Can you feel me trying to get grounded?……That is because this topic brings me back to a place that feels like utter confusion and darkness.

This is a place that no parent wants to find themselves in…….

This is a place of FEAR……CONFUSION……..SHAME…….ANGER……HOPLESSNESS…..and then finally FAITH and CLARITY.

If I had one wish from a magic genie during that time…. my wish would be…..”PLEASE GIVE ME A ROAD MAP THROUGH THIS PAINFUL PROCESS!”

Unfortunately my road map became plain old trial and error…..melt downs…..glimmers of hope…….a comfy seat on the VICTIM EXPRESS and then ultimately….resolution and gratitude.

My hope is that my words can save you days…weeks….months…even years of heartache and confusion.

Teen depression and mental illness is like a bully sneaking up on you and sucker punching you in the gut as you are going along your merry way enjoying life.

You don’t see the bully coming…..and if you do….you do not understand why the bully chose YOU to pick on.

That punch is filled with questions of…. Why Her?…..Why Me?…..Why Us?

Then there are constant thoughts of…..

“Are we the only family going through this”?

“Why is everyone else’s kids getting up for school”?

“Is it something we’ve done to enable these behaviors of anger/sadness in our child”?

“Where do I begin to find support”

After years of letting this experience seep into my soul and my brain…..I feel like I have come up with an acronym to help GUIDE parents through the process with a clear vision and touch points that are TANGIBLE.

So………How do you navigate your child through depression and mental illness?……..

You …..L-O-V-E-M

L- Listen And Be Present

O- Observe Behaviors

V- Validate Their Feelings

E- Educate Yourself in the subjects of Drs……Therapists…Diagnosis AND Support Available Within The School

M- Mindset

So let’s break this down into bite size pieces….

The word LOVE is all encompassing.

It feels like a warm hug.

It is filled with understanding and stability. It is a soft place to fall when the world feels lonely and dark…..AND……there is no greater LOVE than the LOVE you have for your children.

It makes perfect sense to lead with this energy and feeling BUT during panic….confusion and pain….it is not always easy to stay in the light.

So when the bully (depression) throws that punch and shatters your world…….Remember my words…..

Now more than any other time….You need to LOVEM.

You may think to yourself at first glance….Of course I will love them….

But here is where the word LOVE gets tricky.

It is during these times…..the warm kind of love gets lost in the shuffle of so many other emotions…fear….stress….and resentment usually take the lead.

It is during these times we need to anchor ourselves and our action plan in LOVE!

So here we go!

—————

🦻🏻 LISTEN and be present

Our children do not need advice or judgement….they just NEED to feel heard. While staying present in these conversations….you may want to jot down quick notes after each conversation with dates and details of what you heard. This will be of great value throughout your journey so you can monitor and reference back.

👀 OBSERVE behaviors that are taking place

Again….take notes. Are they sleeping too much or too little? Are they withdrawing from friends and family? Are they losing weight or gaining weight? Are they sad or showing feelings of hopelessness? Are they having mood swings……hurting themselves or speaking of harming themselves? OBSERVE and write it down.

🙌🏻VALIDATE feelings no matter how irrational they may sound.

Use phrases like “ Im sorry you are feeling this way….this must be overwhelming for you”.

OR …..“It makes perfect sense that you are sad…….feeling lonely makes me feel sad too”.

📕EDUCATE yourself in ALL ways

Speak to your Pediatrician about what you are observing. Ask for recommendations for therapists and possible psychiatrists. If a diagnosis is established…..read up as much as you can to fully understand what it means and how you can best support your child at home. Learn about options for treatment……medication….and school support. Knowledge is power…..look into it all.

Last but certainly not least …..

🧠MINDSET and personal development

It may sound hokey but turning INWARD during times of crisis turns out to be a gift you didn’t even know you needed. If you can take the time each day to learn about ways to care for yourself and your mind….your heart and brain will thank you for years to come. These are the times you have to lean into GRATITUDE for the things that are going right in your life and create a “muscle” in your mind that flexes positive thoughts and positive emotions. A strong outlook and a positive approach will be the life raft you never knew you needed.

LOVE my friend is ALL you need.

If you put these plans into action….you will have a path to follow and a light to guide you through the dark.

It is most certainly a bumpy ride….but……you and your child WILL get through it.

LOVE ALWAYS FINDS A WAY✨❤️

XOXO🦋